Want to Get Ahead in YOUR Career TODAY?
So you’re wearing your best suit, snoring away, and you think you’re on to the SECRET KEY to SUCCESS IN BUSINESS? You’re on your way, son, but there’s still so much more to learn!
In my book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, you’ll find a million clues to building a PROVEN TRACK RECORD of success. One of these clues is the BUSINESS LUNCH.
Would you believe that in over 20 years, I haven’t eaten a single lunch that wasn’t a BUSINESS lunch? Even if you can’t believe it, I sure can! After all, why bother eating lunch at all if the meal won’t accelerate your career and improve your crucial network of associates? A lunch without productivity is just a snack, as I always say.
Always make your lunch appointment at least one week in advance, as these precious eating hours get booked quick, and you don’t want to miss the express train to prosperity! Anyone working in any office will do as your partner, no matter what the company. Bring the finance folks, the publicity pals, the ad sales amigos. In a pinch, I’ve found that even dining out with a filing cabinet has led to some great BUSINESS discussion. One time, I went out to a local steakhouse with the most fascinating swivel chair, and to this day I find plenty of occasions to pull up that chair’s phone number in my Rolodex.
Don’t desert your ambitions on the weekend, either! Do you see your top CEOs slacking on the weekend? No, you don’t. That’s why I book lunch meetings every Saturday and Sunday in addition to the weekdays. You know what I say to my wife and my dear five year old son every Saturday? I say to them, “Quit complaining! It’s bad for morale! Do either of you work in an office? No? Then I’m off to find someone who does!” Sure, they pester me sometimes about not being home very often, but that’s because they’re not TEAM PLAYERS. They could never learn the first thing about succeeding in the BUSINESS world. I’ll tell you, it’s the great shame of my life that I’ve raised a five year old boy with no career potential. One of these days I may just have to auction him off at the company picnic. Push him off on one of the receptionists! Hah! Just kidding, of course. I’ll get him into BUSINESS school simply by having him read my new book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, every man’s bible for achievement.
Now, getting back on topic, what do you eat when you’re on your BUSINESS lunch? Here’s your INSIDER TIP from my book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed: black coffee and a steak. I know you’re wondering, “What about a martini?” And I know the martini lunch sounds both traditional and tempting, but that drink will blur your focus and throw you off track from your career goals! You’ve got to keep your energy up, and nothing says, “I’m a self-starter” more than a solid cup of black coffee.
The steak is equally important. If you’re not eating steak at your BUSINESS lunch, then what are you doing in today’s fast-paced globalized society to begin with? I’ll tell you this, a vegetarian will never have what it takes to get ahead in BUSINESS. I dare you to guess why. Is it because a vegetarian is less of a man? Is it because if Jesus hadn’t meant for us to eat meat, he wouldn’t have let me suffocate that possum in my backyard with a plastic bag so I could eat him raw and bleeding in the cover of night? Sure, both of those things are true, but the answer is much simpler:
IRON.
Without a hearty dose of iron in your daily diet, you may never have the strength to pull off major deals and sign hot contracts with your colleagues in BUSINESS. Why, every morning I eat a twelve-inch iron pipe for breakfast, fried up on the stove and served with a strong cup of coffee. It gives me the energy to make all of my morning cold calls when I get to the office. Steak is high in iron, and it’s much more readily available on a restaurant’s lunch menu than any iron pipe, so that’s got to be your top plan for your daily networking meal.
I hope these INSIDER TIPS help you as much as they’ve helped me. Follow my lead, and pick up your copy of Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, and before you know it you’ll be shooting like a rocket to the top of your profession!
In my book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, you’ll find a million clues to building a PROVEN TRACK RECORD of success. One of these clues is the BUSINESS LUNCH.
Would you believe that in over 20 years, I haven’t eaten a single lunch that wasn’t a BUSINESS lunch? Even if you can’t believe it, I sure can! After all, why bother eating lunch at all if the meal won’t accelerate your career and improve your crucial network of associates? A lunch without productivity is just a snack, as I always say.
Always make your lunch appointment at least one week in advance, as these precious eating hours get booked quick, and you don’t want to miss the express train to prosperity! Anyone working in any office will do as your partner, no matter what the company. Bring the finance folks, the publicity pals, the ad sales amigos. In a pinch, I’ve found that even dining out with a filing cabinet has led to some great BUSINESS discussion. One time, I went out to a local steakhouse with the most fascinating swivel chair, and to this day I find plenty of occasions to pull up that chair’s phone number in my Rolodex.
Don’t desert your ambitions on the weekend, either! Do you see your top CEOs slacking on the weekend? No, you don’t. That’s why I book lunch meetings every Saturday and Sunday in addition to the weekdays. You know what I say to my wife and my dear five year old son every Saturday? I say to them, “Quit complaining! It’s bad for morale! Do either of you work in an office? No? Then I’m off to find someone who does!” Sure, they pester me sometimes about not being home very often, but that’s because they’re not TEAM PLAYERS. They could never learn the first thing about succeeding in the BUSINESS world. I’ll tell you, it’s the great shame of my life that I’ve raised a five year old boy with no career potential. One of these days I may just have to auction him off at the company picnic. Push him off on one of the receptionists! Hah! Just kidding, of course. I’ll get him into BUSINESS school simply by having him read my new book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, every man’s bible for achievement.
Now, getting back on topic, what do you eat when you’re on your BUSINESS lunch? Here’s your INSIDER TIP from my book, Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed: black coffee and a steak. I know you’re wondering, “What about a martini?” And I know the martini lunch sounds both traditional and tempting, but that drink will blur your focus and throw you off track from your career goals! You’ve got to keep your energy up, and nothing says, “I’m a self-starter” more than a solid cup of black coffee.
The steak is equally important. If you’re not eating steak at your BUSINESS lunch, then what are you doing in today’s fast-paced globalized society to begin with? I’ll tell you this, a vegetarian will never have what it takes to get ahead in BUSINESS. I dare you to guess why. Is it because a vegetarian is less of a man? Is it because if Jesus hadn’t meant for us to eat meat, he wouldn’t have let me suffocate that possum in my backyard with a plastic bag so I could eat him raw and bleeding in the cover of night? Sure, both of those things are true, but the answer is much simpler:
IRON.
Without a hearty dose of iron in your daily diet, you may never have the strength to pull off major deals and sign hot contracts with your colleagues in BUSINESS. Why, every morning I eat a twelve-inch iron pipe for breakfast, fried up on the stove and served with a strong cup of coffee. It gives me the energy to make all of my morning cold calls when I get to the office. Steak is high in iron, and it’s much more readily available on a restaurant’s lunch menu than any iron pipe, so that’s got to be your top plan for your daily networking meal.
I hope these INSIDER TIPS help you as much as they’ve helped me. Follow my lead, and pick up your copy of Always Go to Sleep Fully Dressed, and before you know it you’ll be shooting like a rocket to the top of your profession!
posted by Tracy Kaufman at 9:46 AM
3 Comments:
Once again Arthur, you are the voice of reason! You testify so well, I'd encourage you towards a career in the ministry, if it weren't for the fact that most of 'em are non-profits! I've found, in a pinch, that a handfull of staples can be a great supplement to the AM or PM coffee, especially if steak is not available. They taste great fresh from the stapler, and they tend to be lying around the office IN ABUNDANCE!
Nay, nay, what I like to do in the office is to induce the drawing of blood. If indeed iron is what is needed to keep high stake business alive, then why not draw iron out of your compe..., I mean teammates' iron supply? They'll suddenly all sulk and turn orange like your typical vegetarian! They might even walk off their jobs to join in some demonstration! And you can drink the 'stolen' iron yourself for extra points! My favorite tool of choice is a 2 x 4 with rusted nails stuck on it, placed strategically in front of the employee restroom door, underneath the carpet. Oh, that Steve.
And today, I stand proud as a graduate and protege of Arthur T. Peterson. I make $3,000,000 an hour and the best part is that my son, the other day, did paper mache out of 20 $100 bills to portray his father's favorite sexual position when with his friends. He was so keen on details that he even included the part where I was counting money while I was ponying the young lad! Thanks, Ar-T!
need more tips, please
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